Cultivating hearts
Here’s a blog I wrote for www.catholicyouthministry.com, LIFE TEEN’s website for youth ministers and volunteers. The blog is about what I learned about youth ministry while working in our summer, community garden.
Reflections of an Altar Boy
The following is a blog I wrote for our Parish Bulletin. Just thought I’d share it.
Blessing of the Fire outside St. Peter's Church in Carencro for 2012 Easter Vigil Mass.
I can remember serving the Easter Vigil Mass before I was in high school. At my home Parish, the “big” Masses (Christmas Vigil, Holy Thursday, Good Friday & Easter Vigil) were reserved to the high school altar boys. For some reason, I was allowed to serve the Triduum before entering high school – it was a great honor.
On Holy Saturday morning, I can remember gathering at the Church early to practice for the Vigil Mass that would take place that night. I will never forget Father’s words, “This is the holiest Mass of the year, if you so much as smile during it, I will walk across the Church and escort you out!” Kind of harsh, but it sure got my attention. If you’ve never been to the Easter Vigil Mass, there are 7 Old Testament readings, an Epistle Reading and the Gospel – it’s a pretty long Mass for a young Altar Boy. And it’s mostly done in the dark. The Pulpit for Lector and Father’s Chair were on opposite ends of the Church, so the lights would go on and off between the two.
I was sitting on a bench behind the pulpit, and when the lights went off at the pulpit, one of the high school servers began to laugh. I guess he got to the point of delirium, but all I could think about were Father’s words “I will escort you out of the Church.” When the lights would come on, we would compose ourselves, but when they went off, we were all laughing again. To this day, I don’t know what it was about. I can remember eating cold pizza after Mass, on the back patio of the Church, when Father looked at us and said “don’t think y’all got away with laughing!”
Four months ago, I was honored to be able to help in Recruiting, Training and Coordinating the Altar Servers here, at St. Peter Church. This led to my reflecting on being an Altar Boy. Today, I’m married to a beautiful woman, have 2 amazingly crazy kids and have been honored to walk with and serve the families of our high school students for the past 12 years. But the man that I am (the husband, the father, the youth minister, the son of God) all started those years ago on an Altar at Mass.
I would like to invite all young men (4th Grade through College) to consider becoming an Altar Boy. I know firsthand, the impact it has had on my life. To the parents of these young men, talk to them about serving, it may very well be their salvation one day. There’s a saying that says “It takes a village to raise a child.” I say it takes a Church Community – what a better influence and impact in the life of a young man, than to be in the Sanctuary at the moment of Consecration.
“Daddy, Hold You”
Those are Cecilia’s new words when she wants to be held. “Daddy, Hold you,” with her little arms held high.
The family and I attended the 4 o’clock anticipated Mass for the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. The weekend before was Christmas (obviously), and we had also attended the 4 pm anticipated Mass. By the time that the Christmas Mass had ended, I was ready to take all of Jay’s Christmas presents away and leave a note for Santa that said “He’s not been good, don’t leave any toys!” Yea, it was that bad. In fact I made him apologize to Father after Mass, even though Father was completely unaware of what had taken place. That little boy is lucky he has a mom who holds back dad’s wrath, when dad gets caught up in the turmoil and chaos of a 3 year old.
Back to the Mass we attended New Years Eve. Before leaving for Mass, Jay and I had a discussion about his misbehaving the week before. He agreed to be quiet and promised he would listen. Mass started off great! Not only was he being quiet AND listening, but he was trying to participate. He was saying every prayer response with the congregation. He was 3 words behind them, but he was trying none-the-less. At one point, the congregation was quiet; Father said “Let us pray…” And yes, Jay stood up and belted out loudly “Let us pray!” (Proud dad)
But by the end of Mass, he got a little distracted (did I mention he was 3). I had to pick him up, whisper in his ear “Remember, you said you would listen.” In my arms, he looked up and said, “Put me down,” and he shoved me in my chest. My response was, “If I put you down, you’re going to get in trouble, so you’re stuck in my arms.”
How many times do you and I shove our dad and tell Him to put us down? When, all He’s doing is keeping us from getting in trouble.
I find myself always looking for God; forgetting I’m in His arms. Looking for what He is going to say to me next. Look for that one liner that I can chew on and spit out. I guess it’s the pressure of social media and a rapidly changing world. We’re always looking for the next greatest thing; pressured almost to prove that we are connected. Connected to our world. Connected to our God. A friend once tweeted: “Do birds feel pressured to tweet?”
Last week I got a letter from a ministry that I am subscribed to, who sends out monthly letters. It started by asking the question: “Do you remember that last thing I said to you?” The question wasn’t asking if I remembered what was said in the last letter said, rather, did I remember the last thing that God said. That hit my like a ton of bricks. It went on to say:
“The soul does not live at the speed of the Internet. The spiritual life is not an app with updates; it is lived at an entirely different pace than the pace of the world. God gives us all sorts of gifts, and they are lost within a day or a week.” -Ransomed Heart – March 2012
I was left speechless. I was brought back to that moment at Mass, “You’re in my arms…so you don’t get in trouble.” I think that is what God has been revealing to me all Lent. Stay in my arms. Don’t worry about or look for what is coming next – Stay with me. Is that not what He said to His disciples the night He was arrested (Matt. 26:38-41)?
I want to learn to be content in the arms of my Father. I want to learn to trust. I want to learn to not get all worked up about “what’s next?” I want to “remain here and keep watch “(Matt 26:38).
We have two and half weeks before Easter. Two and half weeks to stay in the arms of the Father. The question may not be what is he saying to us? Rather, what has He said to us that we didn’t stay with? Will we stay with Him?
I will try my hardest. I hope you do to. Pray for me and I will surely pray for you.
Until Easter.
Rain, Rain Go Away
“Rain, Rain go away. Jay and Ceilia want to play. Rain, Rain go away. Come back another way.”
This was the song that I heard my kids singing late Monday afternoon, after our small community had been caught by surprise in a record setting flash flood. Today, I’ve heard there have been an estimated 260+ homes affected by flood waters just in the city limits of Carencro. That number does not account for residents who live outside the city limits, the surrounding areas and people who still have not been able to get to their homes.
On Monday morning, I was drinking my coffee, reading a book and listening to my kids play in the living room while “Power Rangers” blared out of the TV – “They’re saving the day daddy!” At about 10 o’clock, my daughter, Cecilia, asked me for something to drink. I got up to fix her a drink and checked my phone, which had been on out counter, on silent – how I love my day off! I had a text message from my brother-in-law, who lives next door, and a Voice Mail from my other neighbor. The texted said, “We might need to build an Ark,” it had starting raining late on Sunday night and was still raining, and the voice mail said, “Call me back immediately!”
I hadn’t looked outside, I thought my brother-in-law, was being sarcastic! I was attempting to call my neighbor when my dad called and asked, “Do y’all have water in your house?” I thought, dad really, it’s raining, stop being ridiculous. As I looked out of my house, I saw a lake where a highway used to be.
This is next to the Carencro Feed store looking at Hwy 182.
My neighbor was calling to tell me his dad’s house and two other houses at the end of our street had taken in water. It was unbelievable!
This is looking down my street. On the other side of the tree line is another subdivision, some of those homes took in a few feet of water.
We found out later that a heavy rained ban ended up stalling over our community. It stalled for four hours. And in those four hours, we received well over 10” of rain. That combined with all the rained we received the night before and the rain that continued to fall (estimates of over 17” total by the time it stopped) caused disastrous flooding.
Now, 3 days later, there are still people who haven’t been able to get their homes, and families who have been separated. But God is still showing up in the midst of this.
Strangers are helping strangers. And neighbors are getting to know neighbors. God is moving and I am confident in the days and weeks to come, He will continue to pour out His blessings to His people, through His people.
That is His intention, for us to love our neighbors (Mark 12:31). And it is in showing love and living in community, that we come to know God’s love and His invitation to be in relationship, to walk, with Him.
Please continue to pray for the people who have had their lives turned upside down. And stay posted, because I we identify areas of need, we may be asking for your help.
Awareness of Reality
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor E. Frankl
Alesha and I have been married for almost 7 years now. It seems like yesterday that I stood at the Altar waiting for my bride to come down the aisle. I would like to tell that in the past 7 years our marriage has been perfect. I would also like to tell you that Alesha is married to a man (me) who is perfect and never makes mistakes. But if I were to tell you either of those things, I’d be lying. In fact, there are days in our marriage, when our broken, sinful, wounded hearts get the best of us.
If I am going to be honest, during those moments, when I step back and look at what is happening – not what my brokenness perceives to be happening – my reactions are very different. For example, there are two times (I’m sure more) in 7 years, where I can pin point how my wounded heart caused me to over-react to something Alesha said.
You see, with me, the lies (wounds) that my heart believes to be truth often times blur the reality of what I hear. In other words, Alesha can say one thing, but my wounded heart interprets it completely different and completely out context. And it is usually when I am not being aware of this that an argument occurs (thankfully I have a great wife who knows me sometimes better than I know myself). But, if I take a second to step back, listen to my heart and then invite God to reveal the truth of what is happening, I can usually react to situations in a very different way.
This Sunday, we will hear a Gospel that we are very familiar with – the Cleansing of the temple ( John 2: 13-25). I love this Gospel because it shows us that Jesus isn’t a weak man. He’s not a push over. I’ve read this Gospel hundreds of times. This past Wednesday, at our Come Lord Jesus group, a teenager pointed out something I had never noticed. Jesus, upon entering the temple and seeing the disrespect happening in His Father’s house, stopped. He didn’t react immediately. In fact, He bent down and braided a whip. He thought about what was going on in His heart. He contemplated how to react. He stepped out of the situation for a moment. Then He reacted.ed heart interprets it completely different and completely out context. And it is usually when I am not being aware of this that an argument occurs. But, if I take a second to step back and listen to my heart and then invite God to reveal the truth of what is happening, I can usually react to situations in a very different way.
This weekend is the 3rd Sunday of Lent. We are probably experiencing the reality of sacrifices by now. We are probably, in the words of Mark Hart, feeling the battle between our flesh and our spirits. If this is where you are, praise God – you have truly entered in to the Lenten Season. This new insight to this Gospel shows me that it is in Lent where we have an opportunity to step back, grasp the reality of what’s going on in our flesh and in our hearts. And in this reality, we cling to Jesus and realize our dependency on Him – our flesh is weak (Mark 14:38).
In stepping back, we learn more about ourselves and our weaknesses. When we invite Jesus into the moment, we lean into the hope of the Resurrection. And isn’t that what Lent is about, preparing our hearts for the Glory of the Resurrection.
I pray that our Lent has been and will continue to be a time of getting know ourselves, so that you realize our desperate need of Jesus. And in that realization we can begin to react differently to the lies of our flesh.
